Peter and the missus #18

Peace be with you!

One day they took the train from Slough to Hayes. The little one was in his pram while Peter and the missus took their seats. The first few minutes was pretty normal. Peter had long forgotten the habit of falling asleep in trains, thanks to an earlier incident. 

After may be five or six minutes, a young lady turned around to look at Peter and she smiled. 

'Weird', Peter thought. 

At the next stop that was Langley, a little family boarded the train and the baby was hysterical. And after a minute or so the baby stopped crying and the whole family smiled at Peter. 

'That's even more weird', Peter thought to himself. No one, let alone a pretty lady or a baby, ever smiled at him. Though he was a very soft and funny guy, God had given him the exact opposite looks.  

As they got down from the train, a little girl who was in tears stopped crying and her mom nodded a 'Thanks!' towards Peter. 

'That's it!', Peter turned to the missus. 'Something is very different! Did you see the little kids stop crying! And the people, especially women, smiling at me! I bring peace to everyone or something!', Peter was excited. 

'Oh that!', the missus said in a cool tone. 'You really need to stop humming the baby rhymes so loud in public, honey! People are going to think you are weird'

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Peter and the missus #17

Swimming Champions

They had a very few interests in common. One of those rare things that they had in common was Swimming. They hated it equally. They were scared of it. But having read about how good it was to introduce infants to swimming, they decided to take the little one to a pool when he was eight months old. 

The sight of the water brought queasy memories of the deep pools and lakes where they tried to learn swimming. But, they decided to be brave this time. The little one seemed really excited and he felt so at ease with the trainer. The watched it from the edge of the pool but at some point they had to get into the pool.

Peter put his brave face on and entered the water. With every step in his confidence grew. A voice inside him said he could do it! The missus followed him slowly. 

And then it happened - Peter slipped, freaked out and fell face first into the water. He scared almost everyone in the pool. And in an effort to help him, the missus went after him. A second later, Peter seemed to have dragged her into the water as well. 

Two grown ups battling the water and the crowd laughing hysterically, the life guard was so annoyed and he had to say it loud!

'Hey, you two! For godsake get out of the water you! Its just two feet deep!'

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Peter and the missus #16

The competition

There was a short story competition and Peter worked all night to send his story in.

The story received strongly mixed feelings from the judges. The men in the judges related to the story so much that two of them were moved to tears. The women on the panel of judges, to put it mildly, were furious. The (very) short and sweet story that Peter sent as his entry was:

Confessions of a married man

He loved his Xbox. He loved his PlayStation even more. Life seemed like a fairy tale with a happily ever after ending.

Then one day, as fate would have it, he got married.

The End.

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Peter and the missus #15

White Wine

'Damn you Super Market!', shrieked Peter.

'How will I explain this bottle of White wine?! How in the world will I explain to the missus that the aisles for Extra Virgin Olive Oils and the bottles of White Wine were close to each other?!', Peter asked the question over and over in his mind when he unpacked the groceries.

The next day, the garbage bag had a broken white wine bottle in it and Peter called in sick with a concussion. Peter claims that the bottle and the concussion had no connection whatsoever.

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Peter and the missus #14

Dream for an Insomniac

When the little one was born, it changed everything. 

'He changed our life is an understatement', they said.

Every little thing in their life started revolving around the little one. They were ready for it all - mostly. But there were those odd days when the little one would decide to, to put it mildly, misbehave. And those sleepless nights would just drive the missus mad. It was a different kind of mad that everyone, especially Peter, was scared of. 

Peter had to find a solution and he had to be fast. He tried a bucket load of stuff but they all seemed to encourage the baby to stay awake. Until one day when someone said those magic words 'Baby sleep music’.

What a revelation they were. Those baby sleep music CDs and lullabies are so awesome. They worked extremely well. Nothing had worked like that in the past!

The music put Peter and the missus to sleep in less than three minutes. And oh, the little one - they have no effect on him whatsoever!

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Peter and the missus #13

The Photograph

Both of them were not in the mood to cook that night and Peter sat down ordering pizza online. When he was trying to pay, the bank card was not working. He asked the missus to get him his wallet to check a few details.

The missus walked in to the room with a weird expression on her face. She was searching for something in his wallet.

'Where is the photo I gave you?' she asked.

'Oh..' Peter was caught off guard.

'You dont like to keep my photo in your purse, do you?' she continued - the expression changing faster than the speed of light. This was not going to be nice.

'I dont need a photograph, darling!' Peter suddenly said.

'You are here' he said tapping his head. '..and here' he said again tapping his heart. He didn't plan it but the words just flowed beautifully.

The missus was touched. Her expression changed again but this time to a more pleasing smile and he was sure her eyes sparkled for second.

'So, do you want a coffee?' she asked. That was weird because it was a long time since the missus had stopped making him coffee.

'Sure, why not!' he smiled.

Peter sat in silence for a few minutes and breathed a sigh of relief, 'That was close!'. 

'Which photograph was she talking about?' he thought hard for a few seconds.

'Nope, nothing! I have no idea!' he shrugged. He then sat back and relaxed with a proud smile. He was getting better in tackling some tight situations. 

'Certainly much better!', he said patting himself on his back. 

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Peter and the missus #12

Coffee and Happiness

Peter took his coffee seriously - very seriously. He referred to it as ‘The Elixir of life’.

He made his coffee with precision. A slight deviation from his coffee making routine or a little less effort while making his cup would drive him nuts. Coffee – he loved it more than most things in life.

He took a sip of his coffee that morning and said, “Happiness is..”

He paused for a dramatic effect and let the caffeine take charge.

“Happiness is being able to enjoy very sip of a wonderful morning coffee without worrying about missing the trains and being late to work”, he said in a philosophical tone.

Without wasting a single second, the missus calmly replied, “That’s called waking up early, honey”

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Peter and the missus #11

Ready.. Set.. Go..!

"Where are you?", the missus asked over the phone.

"I am on my way. Just got off the bus and walking to the platform", Peter said. They were going to meet a friend that day and they had agreed to meet on the train.

"The train leaves in two minutes!! I have been waiting in the last car of the train forever!!", the missus was tensed which made Peter realize that his watch was running slow. He was going to make a run for it without any further delay.

Peter hated running. He hated moving, for that matter. He would take the slow train after fifteen minutes from the closest platform instead of running to get the faster one from the farther platform. He was laziness personified most of the time. But he decided to break the mould for once. It was time to unleash the Usain Bolt in him.

He sprinted through the crowded station. However clumsy his running looked for the other people, he did not give a damn. He felt that everything around him came to a standstill. He felt as if he was in the Chariots of fire. He imagined the beach. He could hear Vangelis’ immortal background score. A few people had to run for cover. And some had to drag their children out of the way. But he could hear them clapping and cheering, ‘Peter! Peter! Peter!’ as he leaped across a few hurdles of suitcases and trolleys.

He reached the platform and the alarm on the doors already announced that they were closing. The missus was saying something into his headset but he did not hear a word. He was on a mission and he was not going to be distracted.

He took one extra stride and jumped into the train with the doors closing a split second later. He threw his arms in air triumphantly. He almost shouted loud in excitement!

The train started moving and Peter took a few deep breaths. The missus was going to be proud of his sprint, he was sure.

"Honey, where are you?", he said finding the last car in the train almost empty.

The missus was laughing her hearts out. She was laughing louder than he had ever seen her laugh. "That's exactly what I have been trying to tell you - for the hundredth time!! I am on the other train, Dumb-ass!!"

If Peter’s biography was ever to be written, the embarrassing train-chasing-episode of his life would end with the lines, "She laughed and laughed about it for generations to come".

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Peter and the missus #10

A dinner conversation

"What’s for dinner?", Peter inquired as he walked into the kitchen after his usual workout.

"I am making Kashmiri Pulav", the missus said with a smile.

Peter frowned up on the choice of dinner. "Come on! I cannot eat rice for dinner. You know I am on a strict diet! You are the reason I am putting on weight", Peter screamed.

The missus was cool and did not say a word – a weird response given Peter’s outburst. He was not going to let this one go and he held his stare.

"Well..", the missus began – something big was coming down and Peter knew it.

"You say you are on a diet. You eat egg whites for breakfast, you eat salads for lunch, you spend hours together figuring out the calories in your choice of alcohol, you avoid carbs at night, you drink protein shakes instead of snacks, your RedBull or Cola is always sugarfree", she began.

Peter thought about every single word. She was right and he was sticking to it.

"But the thing is.. Every morning you go to your favorite Italian coffee shop near your office and are the only person in the world who will order a skinny Café Mocha"

"Yeah, so?", Peter was curious. Everything she had said was right but he had no clue where she was going.

"And when the barista asks the important question for a Café Mocha.. Cream?" She paused and stared at him.

"What do you say, sir?", she asked sarcastically with a twinkle of victory in her eyes.

"Errr..", Peter now understood where she was coming from.

"Again.. What do you say?", she asked.

"I say yes", Peter said in a sad tone.

"Really?", she asked.

"I say ‘Extra Cream’", Peter surrendered.

"Ha! I rest my case!", the missus had won – again!

"But, how do you know that?", Peter asked in a humble tone.

"I know", the missus smiled enigmatically, "EVERYTHING!"

Amen to that!

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Peter and the missus #9

The wicked smile

Peter hated trains - especially the crowded ones. He never fussed about waiting a few extra minutes to get on a comfortably less crowded train. And as soon as he got a seat, he would fall asleep. Sometimes, he had to be woken up by someone when the train reached his stop which was thankfully the last. It was a habit and how much ever he tried, he could never change.

On a cloudy day, he got into the train, got a seat and by the time the train moved, he was fast asleep. But that day was going to be different - life changing to say the least.

That day, for some inexplicable reason, he woke up half way. The sun was showing its face through the dark clouds. A streak of golden sunlight filled the train giving it a heavenly appeal. That was when he saw the girl. That was when he saw her smile. Her ravenous hair looked like waves basking in the sunlight. She looked like an angel who had just stepped down to earth. She looked like a dream that even dreams would dream about. It took a few seconds for him to realize it was not a dream. And the moment felt even better when he realized she was smiling at him.

She smiled. He smiled. And then...

"Why are you smiling?", the missus gave him a curious nudge. Lost in the dream like moment, Peter had completely forgotten the missus was accompanying him that day. That was the end of the dream.

And before he could say anything, the missus stared right into his eyes and asked, "And, why is SHE smiling?"

That was the last time Peter ever slept on the train.

Life changing - you bet! 

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